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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?